He Read This In A Book Once
by ForeverLilacLies
Summary: Kakashi finally gets up the nerve to ask Itachi out and now has to contend with over protective family members and for some reason Anko. He would prefer not having a Chidori come out his anal cavity, thank you very much. Non-massacre AU.


**Non Massacre AU Rated M for sexual situations. Mentions of Itashi/Shiita along with KakaIta.**

* * *

For years, Hatake Kakashi had thought Itachi to be the most beautiful person he had ever lain eyes on. And Kakashi had seen his share of attractive people. Yet, there was something about Itachi that had Kakashi hooked.

Kakashi had asked Itachi out during a mission.

It went sort of like.

"Yo, Itachi?" Kakashi had called out while punching his enemy. Itachi had turned towards him.

"Yes?" He asked, upper kicking a nin in the face.

 _So dreamy…_

"You free this weekend?" Kunai to the gut.

"What?"

"Wanna go on a date?" Kakashi asked and the Uchiha did not even falter.

"I hardly think this is the most appropriate time." Itachi replied, dodging an attack and landing another blow. Kakashi shrugged, striking down the female shinobi that launched herself at him.

"Pretty please? I'll behave myself." He urged and Itachi faced him as the last shinobi fell.

"A date?"

"Yes."

"With me."

"Mhm." Kakashi was smiling, eyes closed. Itachi studied him for a long moment. Slowly, a smile spread across his face and he nodded once.

"Alright, Kakashi-senpai." He replied, surprising the both of them. "One date."

One date quickly turned into two. Then a third and fourth. The fifth date was spent in Kakashi's apartment, with Itachi straddling Kakashi's lap while they made out on the counter. The sixth in Kakashi's bed. In the afterglow, as Kakashi kissed Itachi's naked shoulder he asked for it to become official. Itachi looked at him, dark hair clinging to his neck. Slowly, he smiled and placed a lingering kiss against Kakashi's bare jaw.

"You mean," He murmured between kisses. "That we hold hands in public and call each other embarrassing terms of endearment?" He mused and Kakashi chuckled.

"Yes, my adorable little minx?" He offered and Itachi rolled his eyes, nipping at the Copy nin's throat.

"I think I like the sounds of that." He teased and let out a startled laugh as Kakashi quickly wrapped his arms around the Uchiha and spun him over in the bed so he was on top.

"Good, now where were we?" He murmured and pulled Itachi in for another kiss.

* * *

Of course, with the newly budded romance, came the opinions of many people. Itachi's clan was very divided. On one side the clan despised Kakashi and the Sharingan he wielded. He was not an Uchiha. He did not deserve to have it and the fact that Itachi once future clan head and now to be Hokage…did the boy have no shame?

Yet the other side of the clan found Kakashi a respectable man who used Obito's Sharingan with honor. Itachi had found happiness with Kakashi and that was good enough for them. It was a good thing Itachi's parents were in support of them. Even if it took Fugaku some time.

However, Kakashi was still approached at different times once the news got out.

Sasuke approached Kakashi during the morning. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and his expression aloof. Sasuke had been named the future head of the Uchiha clan once the third Hokage had told Itachi that he intended for him to be named Hokage. Sasuke had taken it pretty well. Leading the clan would be good for him.

"Kakashi." He greeted and Kakashi did not look away from the book his nose was buried in.

"Maa, Sasuke wha-"

"If you hurt my brother I will shove Chidori down your throat and out of your asshole." Sasuke spoke in his normal low, bored voice but his eyes were activated. Yet he was not even looking at Kakashi. His gaze was instead on the river. Kakashi lowered his book and stared at his student for a long moment.

"Kinky." He finally drawled and Sasuke shot Kakashi a warning glare. He might only be twelve, but Sasuke had the menacing Uchiha glare down quite well.

"I mean it Hatake. I'm watching you." Sasuke turned on his heel and walked away. Kakashi swore he had read something like this in a book before. Touch my precious sibling and face my rage. Kakashi watched him go before quickly returning to his book.

"Cute kid."

* * *

Naruto was next. It was night and Kakashi had finally settled in for the night, with a book and a revealing picture of Itachi…for research purposes of course. Naruto came barreling into Kakashi's apartment without even knocking. Kakashi had been relaxing on the couch and Naruto impromptu entrance had him falling off of it. How had Naruto managed to surprise him?

"SENSEI!" Naruto howled. "SASUKE-TEME SAYS YOU'RE DATING 'TACHI!" He leaped onto the coffee table and crouched down to scowl at Kakashi.

"Umm…yes?" He replied and Naruto scrunched his nose, eyeballing the man.

"Okay…but if you break his heart I'll have to do something." Naruto sternly stated. Kakashi blinked.

"Oh?" He questioned and Naruto leaped off the table and moved around the room.

"Yeah, like…you hurt him and I'll burn all your Icha Icha Paradise books, kay?" He motioned to the line of books on Kakashi's bookshelf.

Wow.

Naruto was vindictive.

* * *

Yamato and Genma had just left the table at the bar when it was quickly taken by a young woman. Anko sat across from Kakashi with a casual air. Kakashi eyed her in interest. She leaned against her chair, arm slung over the back and legs spread casually.

"Okay, Hatake here's the deal. You're now involved with Itachi, right?" She drawled, running her fingers on the table surface.

"Yes, that's right." He began and Anko leaned back lazily.

"Itachi's my dango lunch date. And as such I should warn you that his feelings are delicate…like this dango." Anko held out a pink dango in front of Kakashi. She rolled it in her palm while Kakashi watched in confusion. Anko snapped her fingers and he looked back to her.

"And if you do this to his heart," She squeeze the dango in her fist, squishing the poor little ball. "I'll do the same to your ballsack. Got it?" Her voice was casual and light.

Kakashi sweat dropped and nervously nodded.

"Got it."

"Good." She shoved the dango into her mouth and stood. "See you around, Hatake."

* * *

The Copy nin released a weary sigh when he spotted a familiar figure leaning against the wall by his apartment door.

"Shisu." He greeted with a wave of his hand. Shisui crossed his arms over his chest and studied the Copy nin. Kakashi fought not to fidget under his stare. Shisui looked away, his dark eyes unreadable.

"I'm not going to give you some stupid you hurt my cousin and I'll kill you brutally talk." He finally muttered and Kakashi blinked.

"Really?" He managed and Shisui scoffed.

"Itachi's a shinobi and genius for that matter. I'm not about to insult him by insinuating that he can't defend himself…"

"Oh, good!" Kakashi breathed but Shisui lifted his hand.

"But I will say this. My cousin is the most important person in the world to me. He is a good person and I've never met someone like him. He deserves happiness and if you can give it to him, who am I to object?" Kakashi's brows furrowed for a moment.

"You…you love him." Kakashi's eyes widened and Shisui watched him, unimpressed.

"Yes." He replied softly and Kakashi's brows furrowed in confusion.

"Then why-"

"You make him happy and that's good enough for me." Shisui cut Kakashi off sternly. He inclined his head towards the man. "Have a nice day, Hatake." He moved back down the hall as Kakashi stared after him.

"You too…" Kakashi murmured.

"Oh and Kakashi," The man in questioned turned to face Shisui who gave him a smirk. "If you should falter with him or he leaves you, you should know that I will be there." He drawled and continued on his way as the Copy nin nodded.

"I would expect nothing less."

* * *

Meanwhile, while Itachi was returning from a mission, he was approached by Might Guy. Guy offered Itachi a smile. They fell into step with each other down the dirt path. Guy inclined his head towards the teen and smiled happily.

"You and Kakashi are now unified in passions of the flesh?" He questioned. Itachi fought down a weary sigh, accustomed to Guy's less than…delicate approach to things.

"Yes." He replied and Guy nodded, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Very good. You two make a good couple." He mused.

"Thank you." They were quiet for a long moment before Guy stopped on the street and Itachi waited for him. Guy shuffled his feet and sighed.

"Please, Itachi do me a favor. He may not seem it, but Kakashi's heart is full of youthful passion and love. Do not take it for granted. I shall be greatly saddened if my two friends hurt each other." He looked towards Itachi who nodded.

"Of course. I do not intend on it ending." Itachi murmured. He was suddenly pulled into a bone crushing hug.

"My heart shines with glee at this glorious alliance!" Guy wailed. Itachi lightly pat his back.

"I'm glad." He replied, smilingly slightly. Guy slung his arm around Itachi's shoulder and the two leisurely made their way into the heart of Konoha.

* * *

"So, I had quite an interesting run in with a few people today." Kakashi stated lazily as Itachi strode through his door that night Itachi set down his weapon bag and pulled his hair out of the ponytail.

"Oh?"He murmured, offering Kakashi a raised brow and Kakashi smiled fondly, crooking his finger at Itachi.

"Come here." The Copy nin murmured and Itachi approached his lover, smiling lightly. Kakashi pulled him against his chest and kissed his temple softly.

"Come to bed?" He murmured and Itachi nodded, pulling Kakashi's mask down to kiss him properly. Kakashi's lips trailed down Itachi's cheek

"People wanted to make sure I treat you right." Kakashi breathed against Itachi's throat. The Uchiha laughed slightly, fingers interlacing in Kakashi's silver hair.

"Guy approached me with similar sentiments." He mused and Kakashi rose a brow. He backed Itachi against the wall.

"He threatened you?" He asked and Itachi's brows furrowed.

"No, he simply wanted to ensure I would treat you right. You were threatened?"

"Quite bodily." Kakashi hummed, kissing Itachi lightly on the cheek. Itachi rolled his eyes, not bothering to ask who they were because he already had his suspicions. Kakashi hefted him up against the wall and he wrapped his legs around the man to keep him up.

"Don't worry, sempai." He breathed against the older nin's ear. "I'll protect you." His voice was teasing. Kakashi backed away from the wall, carrying Itachi with him. He approached the kitchen counter and lay Itachi down.

"Maa, Itachi you don't think I can defend myself?" He asked, slowly pulling his shirt over his head. Itachi watched him, his hair fanned out around his head.

"Possibly, but I would hate to see that handsome face beat up." He replied, tapping Kakashi's cheek. Kakashi nipped at his fingers as he tossed his shirt aside.

"Brat." He admonished lightly. He yanked Itachi's pants down and the Uchiha lifted his hips to help get them down his waist. Once naked, Kakashi stepped back to admire Itachi.

"You know how many years I spent imagining doing this to you?" He asked and Itachi's head fell back on the counter with a sigh.

"How long?" He asked and Kakashi moved forward, reaching to grasp Itachi's wrists and pin them over his head.

"Years." He breathed, mouth hovering over Itachi's skin. "I never thought it would actually happen…" He traced his thumb over long eyelashes and Itachi smiled at him, pulling him in for a kiss.

"I'm here now." He whispered, legs wrapping around Kakashi's waist. Kakashi hummed, leaning against Itachi and peppering his skin with kisses.

"That you are…"

Kakashi prepared Itachi languidly, stretching him with slicked fingers as the Uchiha gasped and moaned beneath him. There was a sort of…artistry to it. To be able to slip his fingers into Itachi's tight heat and touch a bundle of nerves that had the normally stoic and silent Uchiha keening and wailing for his lover.

This was always Kakashi's favorite part, preparing his lover. Whether it was his fingers inside him, bringing him to the edge and pulling him back or even with his mouth, kissing and licking Itachi's most private place and lathering it with attention. Having Itachi come completely undone under him was a gift that he appreciated and worshiped every night.

And when he finally pulled his fingers out to replace them with his own throbbing erection, it was pure bliss. Kakashi sank into Itachi, his breath hitching. Itachi released a low breath, relaxing around Kakashi's girth.

"Kakashi…" Itachi moaned, his hips jerking up. "Move…" Kakashi leaned down and kissed the Uchiha as he did as he was bid, hips thrusting forward at a lazy pace. Itachi gripped his shoulders hard enough to bruise and crashed his lips against the Copy nin's. When it came to sex, Itachi was truly a primal force and Kakashi liked nothing more than to set that fire ablaze.

So with death threats and thinly veiled promises of disembowelment, Kakashi went forward, happy in his relationship with his future Hokage. They lasted, not because of the threats or disbelief that a relationship between a stoic unfeeling Uchiha and a perverted lazy Copy nin could last, but because each day they awoke at each other's side was a day worth moving through. No need for anal Chidori or crushed ballsacks. No Icha Icha Paradise books would be harmed and Shisui would not be needed to sweep Itachi off his pretty little feet. Because Kakashi was right there, and much to Guy's elation. Itachi was right at the Copy nin's side.

A nice side note being that sex on the Hokage's desk was dirty and oh so enjoyable. Even more so during the times a certain Uchiha cousin would join in, that is until he found his own happiness with Yamato.

But yes, kinky bondage sex on the Hokage's desk was most certainly the best kind of sex either could have asked for.


End file.
